You look good, Tris
by HotaruBia
Summary: FourTris lemon. Tris meets drunk Four at the Chasm who invites her to his apartment. What does he want from her? She's just an Initiate and he's the Instructor.
1. Chapter 1

**TRIS**

A shiver running down my spine as my eyes catch the sight of Four standing near the Chasm when Christina, Will and Al take our ways back to dorms. I have no idea why his presence makes me feel this way, excited to see him and can't look away. It's strange because most of the Initiates - okay every one of them - are afraid of him. But not me. I kind of know that he's not as tough as he seems. He has a softer side somewhere deep. Really deep.

My friends are chatting in front of me, but I don't pay attention to them. I stop when he turns his head to my direction and our eyes meet. A smile spreads on his face and his eyes light up immediately. I can't help to smile with him.

He says something to his buddies then pushes himself from the railing, and makes the way to my direction. I'm getting nervous as he gets closer and closer and I have to suppress a laugh when he's starting stumble and almost falling face forward. He stops in front of me and I notice the bottle in his hand filled with some brown liquid.

"Hey, Tris," he says and smile wilder if that even possible.

"Hi." He doesn't say anything else just staring at me. His eyes go down and check my whole body, I blush hard. I clear my throat. "What?"

"Nothing," he shakes his head. "Just… You look good, Tris. Really good..."

I start laughing nervously. I doubt he's right, but I just want to believe in his words and can't help but it's good to hear this. I just know he said that because he has alcohol in his system and not because he really think that.

"Okay, but I know you're drunk, Four."

"Yeah, maybe..." he scrapes his neck and his ears look more red than before. "But I'm serious. You always looks good, but in this clothes you so gorgeous."

I'm blushing so much my face feels really hot. This whole situation start to being awkward so I step backward to go back to the dormitory but he follows my movement.

"I… I need to go," I mutter but can't just leave him here. "But promise me you won't go near the chasm."  
His smile seems sweet my heart melts with it. Oh God, I don't understand why he has this effect on me.

"I promise," he says in a light voice. "Though I have a feeling you don't really want to leave."

He's damn right, but it's not a place I should lost in his eyes.

"Maybe… but I should rest before the fear simulation tomorrow."

"Yeah… maybe you should," he says then takes a step closer to me. His mouth just right next to my ear. "Or you can meet me at my place."

My pulse goes up faster as I sense his hot breathing on my earlobe. His lips are almost on my skin. And he invites me to his home. For what? My stomach tightens as nervousness grows stronger in me. I should say no. I have to say no, but he charms me with his smile, touch and voice. I feel a sensation I can't even describe.

He whispers the direction to his apartment so quietly I can be the only who hear it. He lifts up his chin so we face to face now, his eyes memorize me again. A grin places to his face before he turns around and walks back to his buddies.

My friends are still waiting for me but they can't hide their confuse and curiosity. It seems like the end of the world that Four talked to me like a normal teenager guy should not an ice-hearted instructor. But it brings a lot of questions to them like why he was so happy and relaxed? And why he talked to me, an Initiates, even a Stiff?

"What he wants to you? Even said to you that made you blush?" Christina asks.

"Nothing," I say looking at the floor. I can't share his words with them. And certainly not his invitation. "He's just drunk,"

"Yeah, sure." It seems Will doesn't believe me.

I follow them to the dormitories. After a shower I try to sleep, but it's impossible after Four's words at the Chasm. He thinks I'm looking good. Even gorgeous. And he wants to see me now.

I'm waiting to the others be fast asleep which takes hours or at least I feel like an eternity, then I quietly slide off my bed and tiptoe to the hallway. Now I just have to follow use Four's lead to his home.

I'm nervous as hell when I stop in front of a door and I'm even not sure it's his. Every freaking doors seem alike. What if somebody else will open it? Or worse, Four was hooked up by some random chick. Nah that would be pretty awkward.

But I'm Dauntless, I can't chicken out now. So I take a deep breath and knock on the door.

There's no answer for a minute or two, then I knock again but still nothing. I'm about to give up and leave when I hear footsteps before the door fly open.

I relieve when I see Four standing in front of me but the knot immediately returns to my guts when I realize he only wears an undershirt and a boxer.

He grabs my arm without a word and pulls me into his apartment before slams the door hard I wince. Is he mad or something? I shouldn't came here.

But when I look up to Four, he seems relaxed and has a kind smile on his too perfect face.

"I thought you wouldn't coming."

"Now I'm here" I answer simply, trying not to shaking.

"Then take a seat." He pulls a chair to me. "Wanna drink something?"

"Uhm I don't know… You still drunk?"

"Not really I guess," he says sheepishly. That guy is so complicated… "Okay, I have some booze in the fridge."

"I'm not fan of alcohol," I mutter embarrased. In Dauntless everybody like dinking.

"Once a Stiff always a Stiff..." he burbles under his nose but I hear him clearly. I hate when somebody calls me Stiff. I'm not an Abnegation anymore.

"Then bring me some."

He grins hearing my words than takes his way to the kitchen and comes back with two glasses and a bottle full of some red liquid. He sits down to his bed and pours that weird stuff to the glasses and one of them hands to me.

"What is this?" I ask as I sniff it. It smells sour so I don't know I really want to taste it.

"Oh just red wine. Sorry, I forgot you haven't drink anything like this."

I stare skeptically at my drink as I spin the glass in my hand. Then Four leans over and clinks our glasses. So no turning back, I take a slip of wine…

It's a little bit sour but not too much, it's kind of sweet after a few slips. I can't say it tastes good or I like it but not that bad I thought before.

Four finishes his drink really quick and put his empty glass to the floor at the foot of the bed. Then he grabs my left leg and puts it on his lap which causes me to swallow aside my wine and start coughing heavily.

"What are you doing?" I ask him tensely.

"You couldn't stop shake your leg, so I had to stop. Don't be nervous, Tris. It's just me."

"This is why I'm nervous."

"I make you feel this way?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.

I shrug and swallow the rest of my drink.

"Wow, take it easy," he laughs. "I don't want get you drink."

"You don't?" I ask. "Then why you give me this?" I point to the bottle.

"I just hope it's gonna be easier to kiss you."

Now I'm speechless. I just sit here ahead of him, and stare at him unbelievably. He wants to kiss me? Four, the Dauntless prodigy?

I shake my head to clear it. It has not any sense.

"I don't understand why are you even pay attention to me. I'm nothing like other Dauntless girls, and you too handsome to left eyes on a plain girl like me."

"Oh, so you think I handsome," he says with a boyish grin on his definitely handsome face. I immediately blush for his words.

"That's not the point, Four," I squeal.

"Yes, it is," he perseveres. "So, am I handsome, Tris?"

"Yeah, but… but I still don't understand why you are wanting to me be here… with you. And why you… you want to kiss… me."

"Because I have a thing for you since the first day. You seem so much different from the foolish Dauntless girls. I can't explain it, but I can see you have some fire inside you which makes you strong. Stronger than you even can imagine."

I look into his eyes and not see drunkenness or lies, he was full serious about his words. He really thinks these things about me.

"Thank you," I say shyly.

He just smiles at me and draws small circles to my ankle, whereupon I start to finally relax. Okay, maybe the alcohol helped a little bit… It's just Four. Maybe he's scary at the training room and in front of the Initiates, but he seems the opposite when we are alone. He's kind and caring yet strong, kind of sweet.

Four stops stroking me leg, but he leans over ans places his long fingers on my chin. His hand is firm but delicate. My heart races in my chest so fast my head is spinning.

He slips closer, a subtle smile plays on his lips as he leans and tilts his head before he presses his mouth to mine.

My mind goes blank when our noses touch and I have no idea what should I do. Kiss him back? He's lips feel so soft still strong on mines I can easily lost in this feeling. Though he moves away too quickly.

Our eyes meet, and I can tell he feels hurt because I didn't kiss him back. This was my first kiss after all, and God, I haven't thought I have feeling about Four before. I've never liked or even found attractive anybody in my life yet. Just Four. I can't deny he's … hot. And now I really want to kiss him.

He sighs then starts to get up but I jump from the chair, and push him back down. I'm bold which is unusual about me but I don't thought about it, just move with him, and sit on his lap.

His eyes are wide and as I place my hand to his chest I feel how fast his heart beating. Maybe he is as nervous as I am. I move my fingers up to his neck then his face. My fingertip strokes his full bottom lip.

"Tris," he tries to say something but I don't let him finish.

I put my arms around his neck to pull him closer, and kiss him firmly on the lips. I kiss him.

After a few moments he sneaks his arm to my back and hugs my waist, and kiss me back. Our lips like magnets, because I can't tear mine away his. Soon I feel the tip of his tongue as it runs along my bottom lip. I spread my lips unintentionally though his hot tongue can explore every inch of my mouth. It meets my tongue which cause a deep desire in me.

He hugs me to his chest, and I squeeze my tights to his waists but we never stop the kiss. My fingers find the hem of his shirt and sneak under it. His abs on his stomach are firm, his skin warm under my touch. I feel him shiver as my hand venture higher.

I have a strange feeling in my abdomen but I can't name it. It's caused by him and I really want to tear down his clothes. He groans and his body shakes when I move my hips closer to him. It was an involuntary movement. I didn't even want to do that. But I did and now I feel him under me. He's hard…

I have zero experience about sex but I know the basic what we learned at school. Now I know he wants me. Does he feel the same desire?

"Okay, now I'm not the only Stiff here," I laugh shyly. I see his eyes grow wider like he's afraid or something. "What?"

"How… how do you know you are not the only Stiff?" he asks like isn't obvious.

"Because I feel it."

He seems confused so I lift up my lower body again to meets his. I watch as he tries to hide a moan then his whole face becomes bright red.

Now he is not kissing my neck anymore, so I fear I did something wrong and he will kick me out, but instead I find his mouth on the crock of my neck. He sucks my skin softly, uses his tongue as well which causes me shiver head to toe.

I place my hand on his back under the shirt while he continues kissing my skin on the neck then on my collarbone. I totally can't think clearly, and I start rubbing myself to his groins. I hear as a strange voice leaves his cords which he tried to hide. My fingers find their way up on his spine, I can feel the lines of his tattoo.

"Can I see it?" I ask him in a low voice.

"What?" He is panting heavily now.

"Your tattoo. Can I?"

He just nods so I grab the hem of his black shirt and pull it up, through his head. I can't breath. His muscular chest is just in front of me, and no way I don't look at him. Black ink wiggles across his skin and Dauntless flames decorate his ribcage. Thin dark hair cover his abdomen and the middle of his chest in a small line.

I really want to see the tattoo on his back but for that I would have to leave his lap and I'm not sure I'm capable of that.

But I have an other idea. I grab his shoulders then lift myself up resting my weight on him, and I glance down his back. Almost every inch of his skin is covered by ink and I can recognize all the five faction symbols. Dauntless, Abnegation, Candor, Erudite and Amity.

"I don't understand. Why have you got all of them? Every faction..."

"Because I do think we all should live by their values. Nobody can be just brave or selfless or honest or smart or kind. People can be smart but kind as well."

It's a perfect yet dangerous thoughts. Usually people who think this way are Divergents. Is he like me? I don't know...

I lost in my mind but he brings me back to reality as he digs his nose to my right breast. I haven't got an idea that in this position my chest is in front of his face. I'm such an idiot, now my face is hot as hell.

I slowly sit back down to his lap, and look into his face, his cheeks are flushed and he seems shy. So I cup his face and kiss him gently.

The kiss soon becomes passionate as our tongues dance and our bodies press into each other. I only can think of this desire I feel.

I'm on fire. I want him. I want him so much.

I don't hesitate for a second when I finally remove my shirt as well and throw it far away. This is because of him or the wine. Definitely the wine... His glance is linked to mine but I can see how his Adam's apple bounces up and down.

Our lips find each other again and a few seconds later I feel Four's hands as they're running up on my side, then lightly touch my breasts. I sigh into our kiss as his fingers became bolder and crash to my nipples. I have to hide my face when his hands cover my chest.

His touch disappears when I moan into his neck, then he put his thumb under my chin.

"Is this good, Tris?" he whispers to my ear.

"Yeah" I heaving. "More than good."

"Good." He smirks as I finally lift up my eyes. Then he suddenly gives a peck to my mouth what just increases the lust in me.

I run down my hands to his torso, take time on his abdomen, then I reach his belt, and grab the buckle. His breath hitches in his throat as I start unbuckle his leather belt. His stare burns my skin when pull down his zipper and reveal his dark gray underwear.

The look on his face is unmistakable. He is turned on and his patience won't be take long to rips off rest of my clothes. Good, I really want him to do that even it seems strange to feel this way and is against teaching of Abnegation.

His eyes turn deep dark when I slowly slide my hand to his groin. I need to feel his want. Still through his boxer shorts I notice how hard he is. It's pulsing under my touch.

"Tris… Ahhh…" He can't control his words after I slip my fingers below the waistband of his trunks.

My hands are shaking as much as Four's body. I've never done this before and I'm not sure what I should do. My movements are clumsy as my fingers brush the tip of his member, then reach down to fondle him.

He lifts himself up and pulls off his pants with his boxer, too. I can't help but my face crimson red when I come face to face with his naked lower half. It's odd to see him in this state.

We look at each other, and his eyes full of concern and desire, but he seemly understands my hesitation because he reaches down and wraps my hand around his shaft. My heart is on my throat while he starts move my hand up and down on him.

He releases me after a few minutes but now I'm not sure I'm doing it right. My face so hot because of embarrassment but when I see his fingers cling to the blanket, and his face full of pleasure, I stroke him with more confidence.

"You girl know your stuff," he groans so I almost don't understand his words.

"What?"

"It's so… it feels… really good," he admits shaking with pleasure and I can help but it makes me proud to I can do this to him.

My grip becomes firmer and I stroke him faster, his falls backward among the pillows and moans aloud. Then he starts shaking heavily and I confused if I'm doing something wrongly but he places his hang over mine again, and squeezes it hard. He groans as he climaxes. My hand and his stomach are covered by spooge but I don't really care. He seems happy even he is heaving.

Then he sits up and clears away his juice with a cloth. A smile plays on his lips before he roll us around to lays me down to the sheets and kisses me passionately. He pulls me close to him, our naked upper half meet and I gasp as I press myself to his sweaty skin.

After a few minutes of kissing, his fingers find the waistband of my sleeping short and begins to pull it down. I become more nervous and bashful. Nobody has seen me naked before and I now I'm not pretty especially in nude.

His fingers are shaking slightly as they hook under my panties and start to pull it down my tights. Then his hands on my skin below my knees and smooth the goosebumps away. My whole body is heavy with fearful excitement as his touch goes higher on my upper tights, and trembling because of the slight worry keeps hunting me.

But when his hand reach its destination, I lost all my thoughts. It's like all my nerves feel everything and a jolt of pleasure run through me.

I look into Four's eyes whom are so deep blue that seem black. His mouth is open a little bit, and he takes heavy breaths. It looks like the sight of me in this joy makes him amused.

He takes slow circles with his fingers on me, and totally am lost in that overwhelming feeling. I can't think, his early hesitant touches become firmer. This strange growing feeling starts spread through me from my abdomen and no way I can keep down my voice when every nerves in me explode.

I'm panting like I was running several miles but I can't stop smiling to him. His face looks mysterious and more handsome in the dim light of his bedside lamp.

Both of us lay on our side facing each other sharing soft kisses. I press my mouth to his collarbone and my fingers play on his abs. A soft moan lefts my throat as he finds his way back down to my core, and slips a finger inside me. I lift my leg up to his hip to give him more access but I don't stop kissing his neck. He's rubbing his hard member on my thigh.

"We should stop…" he says in a wheezy voice.

"Does it what you want?"

"No," he answers "but I think you maybe not ready to do it. I'm not sure even I'm ready."

"Wait…" I look into his deep blue eyes. "You haven't done this before?"

He just shakes his head and his cheeks look further red. So the famous Four hadn't sex before, it's surprising. I thought he had girlfriends or a few one-night stands. And now I'm here and he's close to loose his virginity with me, and he maybe not know but takes mine as well.

I should agree with him and stop, but I'm not sure I can leave him now. We both naked and are touching each other, moreover I don't worry be intimidate with him anymore. But he sounds unsure about it even his body says it otherwise.

So I fit my mouth to his and grab him again between his legs to show him I don't want to stop. I guess he got the message because he continues to kissing me and his hands return to bring pleasure to me, his fingers run through my hair.

I pull him closer to my core, when he suddenly freezes and look into my eyes like he's searching for something.

"Really sure you want this?"

"Definitely sure." I say without hesitation.

"Then..." he says as he opens his drawer and takes out a little package. I guess it's a condom but I've only seen it at a school's presentation about safe sex a few years ago.

"Thanks, Zeke," he whispers while we puts it on his stiff manhood, he's wincing as he rolls it down.

"You okay?" I ask because he seems uncomfortable.

"Yeah..." He's panting, his fingers plays with the sheet like he's not sure what to do.

I almost forgot he's just an eighteen years old boy. Even he is a Dauntless boy. I take his hand and squeeze it and send a smile to him. He returns it, and puts his mouth back on mine.

He moves over me, he gently spread my legs and nestles himself between my knees. I whine as our groins meet. His body feels hot and heavy on me like the desire warms us up.

"I like you, you know?" he says as he brushing my hair with his fingertips.

Even he didn't say he loves me, I'm happy to hear these words from his mouth. It's a huge thing because I've never thought he's capable of like somebody.

"I like you, too." I know it's true. There's something about him what enchants me. He's so unique, nothing like other boys in Dauntless or even in Abnegation. He's a person I can falling for.

We're kissing again, meanwhile hi hand begins its way down on my body. The back of his hand brushes over my clit then I feel the tip of his cock where I want him most.

A long moan escapes my lips, and I hear a similar moan from him as he pushes himself in slowly. It's so tensive I can't even breathing but suddenly a sharp pain occurs inside me, and I wince.

"You're good?" he asks with concern in his voice and stops moving.

I nod because I don't want him to stop. As he moving deeper the pain seems fading away or I just get used to it. He's scanning my face and a smile appears on his face when he moves himself an inch out then back again which cause me moan. I already forget the pain I felt.

Four relies on his elbows as he's moving with more speed. He shuts his eyes in occasions. I place my hands on his neck, my thumbs brush his cheeks.

I drive up my hips to meet his again and again, his erection slips deeper. Our moans and screams fill the room, the sheets rumple beneath us.

He increases his movement and buries his face to my neck, his lips find my skin in every minutes. I wrap my legs around his waist after he places one of his hand on my butt. I hold his head while we're kissing during our synic exercise. It's not just having sex with my instructor, it's more than that. Like we're making love. Except I'm just an Initiate not his girlfriend.

Every fibers tingle in me, I hug him tight, grab his short hair as he starts shaking and groaning while thrusting into me more faster than before. He then slows down, moves his hips for a few more times just before he pulls himself out. His body sinks down next to me. He tries to catch his breath, sweat rolls down on his face and chest. A satisfied grin comes out on his face.

"Did you…?" he asks still panting.

"No, but it's okay."

I kiss him sweetly and cuddle to his side. He pulls a blanket over us, next he wraps his arms around me, and places a longing peck to the top of my head.

Even I didn't reach my finish, I still enjoyed every moments and now I feel as I'm whole or I don't know. It's a unusual feeling, like satisfaction and being desired.

It's like something incredible happened to me. And I'm sure it did. I'm not the same person I was a few hours ago. In his arms I no longer feel as a weak Abnegation girl but a strong Dauntless young woman.

* * *

 **AN: Sorry if I made any mistakes (I'm sure I did a lot), English isn't my native language, but I tried my best to write something good. Oh and this is my first M rated fanfiction, I've never written anything like this.**  
 **So I hope you like it, please follow or favorite but I'd be happy if you leave a review, I'd like to know you are satisfied with my story. And I'll post more chapters to this story but keep it short.**  
 **Thank you everybody who read it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**TRIS**

It's been two weeks since our first night together. Two torturing weeks with simulations, and hiding. I can't show any interest about Four unless others get suspicious that I have an affair with our instructor. Which is true, but they should not know about it until the end of Initiation. Or ever.

I know it's not right what we're doing, but I can't help about it. He's so handsome and strong, I feel safe and confident when I'm with him. He doesn't treat me like I would be a weak little girl. He can make think I'm good enough to become Dauntless.

After hard times of simulations he helped me to not lose my mind and being paranoid. He held me in his arms in his bed, smoothed my skin, captured my lips with his, and made me forget what the nightmares I've seen.

But it's so difficult to not stare at him at the dining hall and don't see him without clothes when our eyes meet in the corridors and don't get any nasty thoughts when we're alone in the simulation room but surrounded by cameras. That weird chair brings up some weird ideas…

I think Christina maybe surmises something because I catch her gives me questioning glances, when I look at Four longer that would be necessary. But I hope she would though I have a crush on him or something, and not spend the nights at his place.

Sometimes it is hard to bear Four's distancing but I know we can't let anybody find out about us. And I'm not his girlfriend – at least I think I'm not, we've never talk about who we are – which would be more tolerable than I'm just sleeping with him. People would hate me or think I'm a whore, but Eric would throw me out.

I probably should stop to sneak out to see Four almost every night when the Initiates already asleep but I just can't. He became so important to me. And not just because of this desire I feel every moment, but because I think he's the only one who can understand me. I'm from Abnegation where feeling this desire and be connected with a man out of a marriage is selfish and intolerable. Sometimes I thought I'm a bad person, who can't control herself. My parents apparently would be ashamed because of me.

But Four seems to understand my ambivalent thoughts and said it's hard to forget the lessons I'd get in my old faction. However I'm Dauntless, or I would be if I'll pass Initiation, and I have every right to be free. Now I'm free to do whatever I want and be with whoever I want. And I want to be with him.

So I think we are secret lovers now.

Though his friends presume he has someone, they had a conversation about Four and his mysterious girlfriend. Uriah older brother, Zeke kept asking him about it, but he didn't say a word. But as our eyes met, we both blushed.

Now I'm here at his apartment again. Yesterday was a hard day for both of us. It was the last day of simulations, and it should have been easy for me to get through that nightmare, still I almost drowned in that freaking glass box. I hate to be helpless.

So after I woke up coughing and breathing heavily, he guided me to his door and left me here to calm down while he finish his work with the others.

When he came back, we just sat at the mattress in silence, was hugging each other. I didn't search lust with him, only comfort. I needed to be hold in his strong arms, rest my head on his chest, listen his heartbeat.

I have no idea when we started to share kisses and smoothed off our clothes, I just payed attention to his soft still strong touch, to his lips and his tongue in my mouth. His scent made me lost.

Four is like drugs and I'm addicted to him.

His mouth tasted me everywhere and I couldn't take my hands off him. I had to feel his muscles tense and relax beneath my fingers. It was really hard to not lost my mind when he cuped my breasts or smoothed his fingers on my folds, and when I felt how hard he is.

We lost in each other for so long it felt hours, our moans seemed some music which filled the room as he filled me.

I don't remember when we fell asleep or even we reached our end. Though he still lays half way on the top of me, his weight presses me down to the bed, but not in a too heavy way for me.

Our lower bodies are still linked. I feel his member twitches inside me, and is getting harder again, but Four seems still deep in his sleep.

I bury my hand to his hair, enjoy how his soft, sort locks run between my fingers. He rests his face in the crock of my neck and his breaths tickles my skin. As we lay here I'm not nervous about the rankings of second stage, just feel lucky to wake up next to this gorgeous young man.

After a while his arms tightens around me as he begins to wake up, and he murmurs something against my neck. He seems so innocent and young right now, I could believe he is another person, not Four, the scary instructor.

He moves his body a little and I can't suppress a moan as his shaft slides an inch deeper. He probably heard it because stops his movement. He maybe still drowsy and not sure where he is – or where his certain body part is.

I turn my head a little to my mouth be next to his ear, and I whisper, "Morning."

He's humming as he runs up and down his nose to the side of my neck, then puts a kiss beneath my jaw. "Morning, Tris."

I smile how low his voice is because of sleep, but that smile quickly disappear as he tries to climb off me. I hug his neck, and captured his lips lightly with my. I can feel his smile again on my mouth. Then I lift up my groin to bring it closer his even it's hardly possible, but I don't want to release him or let him slide himself out of me. So I start to move my hips to connect him, and I'm happy to hear him sigh in pleasure.

I feel how hard he is now, his eyes turn dark with lust as I sneak my legs around his waist, my heels brush against his butt.

"We will be late..." he sighs, his breathing is rapid.

I place my hands to his face to bring him closer, then I put a teasy kiss to his lips. I lean to his ear to whisper in a seductive voice.

"Then you should be quick."

A playful smile spreads across his face before his mouth finds mine. As we kiss, my body presses against Four's, like there is a magnet what pull us together.

His lips start a journey down my throat, his tongue presses against the hole between my collarbones. My skin is on fire, only I can do that whisper his name again and again, when he continue his way down my body.

I feel is wet tongue on my nipple, his fingertips as they dig into my hip, his mouth on my stomach, his hot breath between my legs. Every move he does, every fiber of him turn me on.

I don't have any freaking thoughts about the world outside this room. Just him. How his hair soft under my fingers, how he causes me shiver and feel so much pleasure that it hurts. Then his lips find mine again, and I let my hands to explore his body while we're kissing so hard my mouth goes numb.

But after a while he slaps my hands away to find the right position before he slowly sinks into me again.

Moans escape his lips as soon as mine before our bodies find the perfect rhythm to become one. But soon our movements increase when we can't get enough from each other, still our lips always find their way back to share deep kisses and pecks to our sweaty skin.

I can literally stay here with him in his bed, making sweet love, but unfortunately I know that the release is near and I don't want this to be end, to this bubble bursts which separate us from the world and I should have to face the reality again.

But the ecstasy explodes inside me like a bomb, and I can't control my body nor my voice. Just I feel how Four shudders when he reaches his end as well. This whole feeling is so unique I incapable of describe it.

He presses his face to the crook of my neck and we both have breathing problems. But I can tell he's laughing.

"What is it so funny?" I ask him curiously.

"Just how much I hate that I have to leave this bed and pretend this wasn't the best morning of my life."

"Was it?" I chuckle.

"Definitely."

He lifts up his head and he looks into my eyes while his fingers stroke my hair. I see so much kindness in his eyes, it's not the same, hard look we get from him at training. I notice something else in his expression but I don't know what's that.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, just… you're so beautiful," he says in soft voice.

He hasn't realized these comments make she uncomfortable. "I know I'm not. And I'm such a mess now, covered by sweats..."

"Yeah, but that makes you more sexy."

I want to argue but he press our lips together so I can't even have a word about it. And I so love kissing him.

After a few minutes of making out we get up from bed, and I run to the bathroom before he even has a chance to go in first. He grunts when I close the door in front of his face, and I just laugh.

I splash a handful water to my face, at least my forehead won't be full of sweat. I use my fingers to brush my hair then pull it into a ponytail, and fix it with a rubber ring from my wrist.

My face is still red, but finally I don't look like who spent a night with a boy.

We switch places so he can get a shower before he has to work, he will have shift at the control room today after we will get to know our rankings later this afternoon.

I don't want to think about the rankings or the final test. It would be good that this crap of training will be over, and maybe I can be someone more to him not just his lover. I want to know who Four really is.

I slip out from his apartment before he finishes his shower, and turn my way to the cafeteria to grab something for breakfast. This is the better way, because they won't see me arrive with Four.

I try my best to seem casual when I take my seat next to Will, and put some scrabble eggs to my plate.

"Where were you?" Christina asks.

"Just take a morning run and spent some time at the training room," I shrug.

"Really? Then where were you at the whole night?"

"What? I was sleeping in my bed." I just hope she can't hear in my voice that I don't say the truth. But I'm not that lucky. And this is Christina, who transferred from Candor, of course she can tell I lied.

"I know you didn't. Your sheets were untouched. So where did you spend the night, Tris?"

I'm in trouble. "I just... couldn't sleep, so I was just walking around."

"Yeah... almost every night?"

I just a shrug. What else would I say? 'You know, Christina, I have been shagging with our instructor those nights.' Yeah, probably not this.

"So who is the guy?" she asks again.

"What guy?" Al asks with confuse in his voice.

"She totally has a boyfriend. And don't even try and deny it. I can read the signs."

"I don't have a boyfriend," I shake my head. And this is true. Four is not my boyfriend, just our sexy trainer who is amazing at bed.

"Who is he?" she doesn't stop my interrogation. "A Dauntless born? Or a member?"

"Why you think he isn't a transfer?" Will asks.

"And who? You?" she's questioning him whose face turns red. "No. Or Al? Sorry, dude, but I'm sure you don't. And who's left? Drew and Peter... Can you imagine Tris is making out with those douchebags?"

I almost see my chewed eggs again. Me and Peter... Disgusting…

"I say again, I don't have anyone."

"Then why you wore that smile on your face when you arrived?"

"What smile?" I ask confused.

"That 'I had a great sex with my man' smile."

I feel the heat sneak up on my neck. This conversation starts to be so embarrassing.

"So spill. Who is your mysterious boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend!" I snap.

"Finally you admitted there is a he. So this guy isn't your boyfriend, then who? A fuck buddy?"

"That's enough!" I slap at the table.

My friends wince. Christina is just smiling like an idiot, Will's mouth hangs open and Al... Well, he seems hurt.

"Oh I couldn't imagined a Stiff knows how to fuck."

"Keep your mouth shut, Peter" Christina snap him up, then turn her attention back to me.

"Just... leave my private life alone. I don't care what's going on between you and Will, so you should do the same."

I jump up from the table and literally run out. I'm so angry at them. Why they can't stop digging their noises into my life, my secrets? I have feelings, too. I can feel when their words hurt me.

And they don't even know the truth about me and Four. After that I don't want anybody know about us. They would think I'm a slut. Even my friends think I'm a slut. But am I?

Before I leave the dining room I catch Four is starring at me nervously.

* * *

 **AN:** _Sorry it took a while to update, I'm not a quick writer, and I'm writing my main fanfiction in my native language as well. But finally I've finished this chapter. And I'd like to write two more to this story. If you like this story, you may give a chance to my other stories, too._  
 _Off-topic: Have you guys seen How to Get Away with Murder tv show? If you haven't you should, it's so amazing! It quickly became one of my favorite._


	3. Chapter 3

I'm worrying about Tris. As she stormed out from the cafeteria, I noticed her angry yet sad face. I have no idea what's going on with her, and what their friends said to her, but I can tell, they hurt her in some way.

I really want to follow her, but I can't. People would be suspicious, and I can't let happen they find out about us. At least until the Initiation will be over. There are some people who gladly ruin my life with this secret of ours. And most important, ruin her life.

I catch Zeke stare at me, and I just now realize I forgot about my food in front of me at my plate. I try to turn back my attention back to my food, and pretend I didn't just stare at my Initiate for a long minute. So I start eat again and don't let my face shows any emotion whom swirl in me.

I have to keep myself up, I have some fear simulations to run today. I can't wait this thing will be finally over. Just so hate to see them in terror. Hate to see her in terror.

Today Tris had to face the fear of losing her family by her own hands, again. I can see it breaks her apart, maybe this is her greatest fear. Easy to tell, how much she loves her parents and brother. I feel jealous about this, her good childhood, loving family. I only got a supposed-to-be-dead mother, and a sadistic father. What a family…

If I was in that simulation, I'd never got a hard time to shot Marcus between his eyes. Maybe I'm a bad person because of this.

After her turn, I kiss her in that abandoned hallway, press her against the stone wall. At first the kiss seems light, a gesture of caring, makes her relaxed, takes off the pressure of her. Then our lips just connect with full of heat and want, and it's impossible to not touch her.

Her hands sneak into my back pocket of the trousers of mine, and bring me closer to her, while she squeezes my butt a little. She knows very well how much this turns me on.

I'd like to kiss her neck, but I can't remove my lips from hers, because it's the only way I can stop the moans whom escape her throat, just after I begins rub her through her pants. I feel satisfied when she clings to my hand as my fingers do their job.

The growing sensation becomes more and more overwhelming, so I have to stop, and pull away from her, unless I want to rip off her clothes, and let my desires to takes over control above me. Not would be too appropriate to have sex in the corridor.

So I give her a final kiss, before I leave her, and go back to do my job.

This wasn't the only time I see her today. When I announced the rankings of stage two, I catch her shocked face, when she saw her name at the first place. Then I met her at the training room, but I couldn't show any emotions toward her. She was with her friends, I was with my friends, and they didn't know about our relationship. They wouldn't know about it.

Now I'm sitting on my swivel chair in the control room, monitoring the city through security cameras. But honestly, I have no idea what's going on the streets. I zoom out easily, lost in my thoughts.

I have to figure my relationship with Tris out. I now I like her since the first day I met her, but this relationship was just about sex in the beginning. To have sex with a girl I like. But now I think it's more than that. She's not just some girl I'm sleeping with, she's like my girlfriend.

She doesn't know about that. I should have told her how I feel – that just intimate with her isn't enough for me. I want to call her my girlfriend.

The only problem, it's impossible right now. She's my initiate, so I must not have any connection with her. We would be in a big trouble if somebody find this out. Maybe they'd even trow her out from Dauntless.

I can see herself in front of me; her fragile yet strong frame, the muscles she grew to her arms and thighs – I've felt them so many times when her legs were wrap around my hips. Her blond hair maybe dull, but it's shining outside, where the darkness of this compound can't take away the color from it. But her eyes have the most powerful effect on me. Other people probably they seem plain, but that greyish blue color is special, in a way I can't describe properly. And that fire I can see in them… A fire which is a proof of her courage and strength.

She is so different from that person everybody think she is – a weak, boring Stiff. She is not that kind of girl. I can't believe how strong-minded and sustained a girl from Abnegation can be.

I can tell she has feelings for me as well. I don't know if they as strong as what I feel, but they definitely there. She'd be my girlfriend? I hope so, though I wanna be called her that.

But before that, I have to tell her the truth. The truth about me.

I'm afraid. What will she think about after find out my faction of origin, and what my father did to me. I can't bear if she would look at me like I'm a victimized boy. I'm not that boy anymore. I grew up, and changed a lot. I had to be strong to leave my past behind me.

I try to remember her from Abnegation, but I hardly have any memory of her. I think she was just another kid dressed in gray, and I hadn't given her a second look. I spent my whole childhood to avoid attention. That included to avoid staring at people. I walked my head down, and stayed quiet. Marcus would probably killed me, if I talked with someone.

I was a coward. I want to be a better man.

Something bangs on the ground, and I'm shaking up from my deep thoughts to look up with wary eyes.

"Sorry, bro, I didn't want to scare the shit out of you." It's just Zeke. Of course he is. But I'm glad somehow he is here, even though I can't tell him anything about what's going on in my head. For Tris' sake.

"What's the matter with you? You seems... I don't know, strange I guess."

"You don't have to worry, especially about me. It's just the simulations. They takes a lot from me, man."

He claps my shoulder, smiling with understanding. He mostly a funny guy, but he can be serious if he really wants.

I wonder if I can share something with him, at least a few words about a girl I like. But I know it would be a hurried move. Zeke isn't the friend you have a serious chat about girls. He probably would make aome funny comments how the almighty Four finally shows some interest to the opposite sex. And yeah, he gladly would have a few words about sex as well.

If he even knows how many times I've had that certain girl in my bed naked, he'd choke his tongue down. He definitely doesn't know I'm not a virgin anymore.

"You sure you're okay, man? You seems more... sullen than before."

I raise my eyebrow challenging him. I'm not sullen, just sad, because I have a relationship and great sex times, and I just can't tell a word about it, since I'm screwing with my Initiate.

So I just shrug, and make some excuse that I'm tired and I'll have simulations to watch tomorrow, and leave him there, before he'd ask more questions.

As I walk back to my apartment, I think about how much I want this agonizing initiation will be over. It's so hard to monitor their fears, and it's so fucking impossible to stay away from Tris, and don't show I care about her.

I really want to take this relationship into a different level, and not just exploring her body in many ways, but get to know her soul, too. What we're doing it's not very Abnegation, and I'm not that guy, who just playing with girls.

I have to know her true self. I want to love her.

A scream shakes me up from my thoughts. A loud, blood-curdling scream, which dies soon, but echoing in my head for a long time, ad I start running where it might came from.

My head filled with so many horrible pictures about what's happening, but when I come face to face incident, I feel how my blood is boiling in my veins. Now I'm running faster than I've ever had to, raising my knuckles, and trow the first punch as soon as I close enough to one of these bastards. But I know I'm too late. They dropped their victim to the chasm.

He cries out in pain, and I see as the blood running from his nose, matching with his red hair. Drew... I lose my temper, when I notice a big framed boy's running from the scene. That one can be only one person I recognize, but I've never imagined he could do any hurt for someone. Al seemed too soft for this.

I see someone else leave the locale with fast steps. I have a tip that was Peter, though Drew hasn't done anything without his boss. All I see red, and can't stop hitting his ugly face.

But I stop suddenly. I hear a faint whisper coming from the railing. The voice is so weak I almost missed it, although it shakes me up from my anger-induced trans. I look over where the voice came, and I see her blond hair peaking above the railing. I'm in sock for a few seconds, before I give one last punch for Drew, and drop him down to the ground, and rush over her.

Tris is hanging by her armpits on the railing, almost falling down to her death. I grab her arms where they meet the shoulders, and pull her up, and hug her to my chest.

"Four", she sighs with relief in her voice. She's shivering, as I stroke her cheek, her hair. Then her body becomes motionless and heavy as unconsciousness overtakes her.

I panic for a moment, and look over her searching for any sign of damage, but I only find some bruises and cuts. Besides them she seems unharmed. But to be sure I press my fingertips to her neck to check her pulse. It's there, faster than I would waited, but starting slow down. But not mine, my heartbeat is so rapid, there's an ache in my chest.

I was so close to lose her, before I've a chance to tell her everything; my past, my name, my feelings for her. Now I have to do it as soon as she gets better.

She is limp in my arms as I walk back to my apartment. When I close the soor behind us, I gently lay her down to the top of my blanket. She looks so small and weak and somehow broken, though I know she is not any of them.

I wash the dried blood of my hand and it stings as the soap reaches the small cuts and scratches on my skin.

When I step back to the room, I meet with her hazy eyes. I can tell she's barely awake, yet her state contains so many emotions.

"You hurt," she acknowledges my not anymore bloody hands.

"Look who talks," I chuckle, even it wasn't funny. I smooth her cheek, and she leans to my palm. "For a second I thought I lost you."

"Am I really survived?" Her voice is raspy.

"You did. Barely, but you did."

I watch as the tears start forming behind her eyelashes. Probably everything just happened now seems real for her.

"I don't understand," she cries out, the tears seem as a fresh river on her cheeks. "Why he did this? I thought he was my friend. He couldn't her people, but he still hurt me. I can't… can't believe it."

"He doesn't understand you," I try to explain what I think happened. "Because you seem so small and weak, yet you are far more stronger than he'll ever be."

She shakes her head, and more tears escape from the corner of her eyes. "No, I'm weak, I can't even protect myself. I feel… like I don't belong here."

It breaks my heart to see her like this. She's unsure of herself and thinks something which isn't true. I place my hands either side of her face, and look into her teary eyes. Her greyish irises look broken and full of pain.

"Hey, look at me. All of this is not your fault. You're not weak, understand me?" I use my instructor voice to convince her about my truth. "That was three against one, you had no chance to win, or even escape from them. I'm just relieved they didn't anything serious with you."

She suddenly becomes tense, and starts biting her lips, her fingers grab my blue quilt, as they're about shaking.

"What's going on, Tris?" I ask her, but she just keeps staring in front of her, though I see as her legs bouncing up and down on the mattress. "You can tell me everything, you know?"

"They did." Her voice is so low, it's kind of a whisper, but I still understand, but it just confuses me even more. "They did, Four."

"What are you talking about?" I ask her with fear in my voice. "What have they done to you?"

"They… they… touched me."

I feel like the time stop around us, and my anger raise with so much intense, it takes away my senses. I literally see red, as I imagine their hands on her. I want to kill them. Right know.

"Touched you..." I repeat her words, she nods in silence. "I'm gonna kill them."

"No, Four, you won't." She pleads with terrified eyes. Is she afraid of me or the consequences if I'd do anything with that bastards? Either way I immediately stop my murderous thoughts. I have to stay calm for her.

"But they didn't… you know… forced themselves on you, did they?" I ask, worry visible in my tone.

"No, they didn't… rape me. Just… touch me… on some private places..."

Okay, I still want to rip of their head. Or other body parts of them. I am the only one who can and should touch her like that. The only one who can take of her clothes and be her mine. It's disgusting that somebody tried to do anything sexual against her will.

I sit down next to her on the bed, and cautiously and slowly wrap my arms around her, and pull her to my chest. A sigh escapes her mouth, and I feel how she starts to relax in my hug.

"Everything is going to be okay, Tris. This insanity is almost over, just you have to hold on a little bit more, okay?"

"I don't know I'll be able to do that. After everything… I thought I could trust Al, and he betrayed me. How can I trust anybody?"

I pull her tighter into me, and put a light kiss to her forehead. "I know it's hard, but you can surely trust your friends. Will and Christina can protect you, if you show some vulnerability. Even Uriah and his group will be on your side, since he's fascinating by you. And you know you can trust me."

A small smile shows up across her face, before she turns her face to the side, and press it to the croak of my neck.

"You'll be through this, I can promise you that."

"Thank you," she sighs with a light relief in her voice.

We stay in this way for a few more, peaceful minutes. I stroke her hair, while her grip is strong around me. Neither of us say anything, until she mentions a shower.

I can understand her, her body sticks with sweat and blood. And after their disgusting hands poisoned her skin, I can't even imagine how dirty she might feels herself.

I help her to undress, while her fingers shakes so violently, she can't do it by herself. Even the standing gives her a hard time, so I hold her by the hips to not lose her balance, as I turn the shower on.

It hard to not lose my mind during the shower, as her smooth skin press against my bare chest, as I use my free hand to help washing her. I have to remember myself to this situation; she got hurt, and she needs me, so I can't just let my desire overcome my clear logic. But it doesn't mean my wet boxer doesn't feel tight on me.

She feels weak and shaking in my arms as she leans back her head to it rests on my shoulder. Everything happened tonight it was too much for her right now.

I sit her down to a chair, and I quickly dry myself, before I use a fluffy towel to dry her, too. I think she is deep in her toughs, as she just stars ahead and doesn't say a word. Her bareness a little awkward for me, because now she doesn't under my covers, or under me.

She uses my arm to stay on her feet, when I drive her to my bed, I help her lay down, after I give her one of my old t-shirts to wear. She suppresses a painful moan, when her back hits the mattress. I try not look at your hurt body before, but I know, she has some injuries and bruises.

I knee down next to the bed, and smooth her hair, as she bites her lips, and I can sense some fresh tears in her eyes, trying to hold them back.

"Hey, you can be weak now," I say to her in a soft voice. "It's just me here."

A single tear rolls down her cheek, but the others stay under her eyelids. She's mobilizing all of her strength to not crying, but can't stop to smother some snivels.

After a few minutes she looks up, and our eyes meet. It's not hard to see the brokenness in them.

"Can you… Can you touch me?" she asks, her voice's shaking and uncertain.

"Tris… I don't think it's the best thing to do..."

"Please."

Her eyes are pleading, she wants my touch, but I know, she only want it to forget what they did to her. And it's not right.

"I can't be me… I need to remember your hands, your touch."

"But you know, I'm a man, too, right?"

"Yeah, just you are not like them. You wouldn't have hurt me."

She's right. Even though one of my greatest fear is Marcus, and to become like him, it's no way I've ever lay a finger on her. So I nod. I can do that for her. I can touch her, so she can forget. And I'm kinda glad she asks me to do this, since it's so hard to not hold her, and touch her, and kiss her.

My mouth finds hers, her lips are a little dry, but I use my tongue to moisturize them, before I start to kiss her with full want.

It would be so easy to lost myself in this moment, in this kiss. I know I can't do that. She needs my carefulness, my care, my love. So I first touch her neck while I still kissing her lips, then I slowly make my way down. My hand sneaks under the shirt of mine what she's wearing, and smooth her soft skin on her hip and side, before I reach her ribcage. I feel as her muscles tense under my fingers.

"Is this not too much?" I ask her, my voice is so low due to the desire, which fills my veins.

"No, you're never too much for me."

I show a small smile before I put a light kiss to her mouth again. She moans a little as I carefully touch her nipple, my other hand is still on neck, I draw circles on her cheek with my thumb.

She shudders next to me as I cup her breast and squeeze it with a light force. I use my teeth to pinch her earlobe while my fingers pay same attention to her other nipple, too. I notice when she clenches her tights together. It's time to erase her defense.

My hand runs down her side, grabs her butt lightly, caresses her tight. When I reach the skin of her inner tight, her fingers twitch as they clutch the fabric of my shirt. I cautiously separate her legs, but I find her eyes and wait for an agreement, before I turn my hand and touch her lightly where she needs the most.

She shuts her eyes for a minute, then she's the one who initiate a kiss, and I'm gladly taste her lips again, enjoy the sensation as our tongues meet. She brings one of her legs over my body, her tight rests on my hip. We are so close together, and I can easily use my fingers to caress her.

I shudder as I hear her moans next to my ear, and feel her wetness on my hand, and I can tell she feels how hard I've became. I'm so full of longing to make love with her, but I know, it's not my time to be satisfied.

I tear our lips apart, and start kissing her neck one more time, while I roll up the fabric which covers her delicate body. A delicate body with dark patch of bruises. When I finally reveal the soft skin of hers, my lips do their job, and overlay her body with wet kisses. I press my lips gently to every blue or green or black bruises. I wish it would be that easy to make them disappear.

She breaths heavily as I such her nipple between my teeth, and play with it with the tip of my tongue.

The last bit of control falls out of her hands as soon as I arrive to the most sensitive part of her. Her whole body shiver and moans which leave her mouth become louder and louder as I kiss her folds.

I really enjoy this, seeing her in this state, when I can tell how much pleasure I cause for her. So I continue with more confidence as I see I don't hurt her in any ways. I use my tongue to indulge her, to show her how much I care about her, and I'm willing to do everything to make her safe and carefree. I can tell she's much more relaxed as she was half an hour ago. Her moans are the proof she enjoys every minutes of my act. And her scent is like some cologne to my nose – it seduces me easily.

Then I feel her shaking fingers on the zipper of my pants, as she tries to pull it down, and free my hardness from its cage. But when her attempt remains unsuccessful, she gives up, and instead she starts touching me trough the denim.

"Tris, you don't have to do anything," I say as I remove her hand gently. "Just relax."

"But… I want to do this. I want to feel you."

I shake my head. "I want you to concentrate yourself for this time. My needs are out of priority right now."

"Okay..." she sighs. "Then can I just hold you? Please."

I can see the wanting in her eyes. She really wants to touch me. Is it some kind of connection between us for her? Maybe. I can't tell her no, nor I want say no.

I bring my tongue between her moistened folds, draw a circle on her clit, before I help her unbutton my pants and pull down the zipper, and drive her hand into my boxer. I sigh as her uncertain fingers wrap around my pulsing member. She doesn't do anything beside hold it, but the feeling is almost enough to bring me to an unexpected orgasm.

The position seems uncomfortable, so I come back to kiss her lips, and use my fingers to bring her closer to a sweet end. I hug her close to my chest, while we're kissing and touching each other. I slip a finger into her, and I immediately feel how close she is. I move my finger in her in a slow motion, while I use my thumb to put pressure to her clit.

She's unable to kiss me anymore. Her breath are quick, she heaves, and her eyes close. I run my fingers in circles on the back of her head, her hair like silk under my fingertips.

Doesn't take too much time when she finally reaches her orgasm, and a quiet scream escapes from her throat. She's shaking a little bit, her chest moves up and down quickly as she tries catches her breath.

I kiss her lightly, and she hugs my neck to keep our lips together for a minute.

"Thank you," she says with a heavy voice. She seems tired, it's a miracle she's still awake.

For an answer, I stoke her cheek, and place a kiss to her forehead. Likely, she doesn't even know how much this meant to me. Her trust.

Her hand stirs in my underwear, and I know she tries to satisfy my needs, as well. But she's too weak right now to do that. At least on her own.

So I place my own hand above hers, and link our fingers together, before start to move them up then down on my shaft. It doesn't feel wrong, or like I do this to please myself. I just feel her hand on me, her skin on mine.

A few moments later I increase the speed, as the end feels closer, and I press our lips together one more time, a second before every nerves explode in my body, and my seeds covers our hands and my boxers. I dry the hand of ours with the fabric of my underwear, and I don't mind I have to wash it later.

I look down to Tris, who seems about falling asleep in my arms. I roll down the shirt on her body, and pull the blue quilt over her. She looks so peaceful, like nothing bad happened with her.

As I study her, I understand something. Maybe she's strong most of the time, but she lets me see her in the most vulnerable state of her, and she needed my touch even when she's the weakest. She clearly trusts me.

Now I have to trust her, and show her who I really am.

* * *

 **Happy New Year Everyone!**

 **Thank you for your support to this story, I hope you like this chapter, as well, and can forgive every mistakes I've may done here. I'm gonna write one more chapter, I swear.**


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